Here’s another insightful blog post from Main Street Yoga yoga teacher trainee, Alex White. Alex teaches “Bend & Balance” on Fridays at 5:30 pm at MSY. Save your spot now!
When I first began my yoga journey, it was through an app. Being the perfectionist that I am, every pose (asana) that was given I performed EXACTLY like the character on the screen. For months I executed each position presented with absolute perfection. There may or may not be some Instagram posts to prove it. Were these asanas assisting with my anxiety and my sleep? Of course! However, the practice of yoga became more about performance and less about receiving every benefit. When my body did not move like the picture, I would go back to an easier session. Sometimes I would even choose the pose that was easiest because I looked better in it.
After a few months of this endless need to look perfect in every pose, yoga started to become stale. I started searching for a live class. The only one available at the time, for free because I worked there, was at the YMCA. It was an early gentle flow. I enjoyed it because the focus was more about breathing and accepting… THEN… the instructor stepped it up. The seniors in the class were able to present beautiful asanas, but the broken body I have just could not keep up. I was so frustrated. I went back to the app and became complacent. Before I knew it, I was back to where I started.
An instructor started at the other gym I was working for at the time and I hopped on board to take the class. This class was WORSE than the other. The teacher offered no modifications or even cueing of the breath (THE key to yoga). Needless to say, I never went back. Honestly, looking back, I am not sure why I love yoga as much as I do (insert chuckle).
Despite these bad experiences, I went on to take three separate yoga trainings in which it was yet again pounded into my brain that asanas had to look a certain way. At one training I was corrected on my form. Using a hands-on adjustment, the instructor pushed me into an uncomfortable position in order to make the pose look exactly right, unaware that I had injuries that made the ideal form of the pose painful to me.
Flustered and annoyed, I then began practicing Yoga on Youtube with the one and only Adriene. It was there that I finally heard the words, “If you can’t or if it doesn’t feel right, do this instead.” From there, I found blocks to be ever so helpful. I went to a yoga class in Charlotte, North Carolina that used bolsters and blankets. I was amazed! You see, I was finding that yoga is more about what you CAN do and less about what you cannot. It’s about how it feels, not how it looks! Bring yourself in a semi-comfortable position so that you can begin to focus on the inward you and not so much on the outward appearance.
When I began yoga teacher training at Main Street Yoga, Angela provided me with an instruction that profoundly changed my yoga practice: I could adjust the position of my feet in down dog pose. This was a pose that absolutely despised! The right shoulder of my body could never get free from tension during the asana. By simply moving my feet into a wider position closer to my hands (just a smidge) I was able to feel the tension release. Then the great epiphany happened… You can adjust your body in ANY POSE to make it more manageable and comfortable! My mind was blown!
There is a point to all of this, I promise. If you are one of those perfectionists like I was, challenge yourself to purposely use props (blocks, bolsters, the wall, a strap) to assist you in a pose. It’s not “cheating,” and there is absolutely no shame in it. In fact, the use of props can actually help you receive the intended benefits of a pose that you might be missing. If you’re not sure how to modify a pose that is painful to you, don’t hesitate to ask your teacher for help or to take a little longer getting into an asana to create more ease.
My perfectionist tendencies haven’t completely disappeared. To be completely honest, I still look around a classroom of yogis and compare myself. This especially happens when I am practicing with other instructors. If this sounds like you, please know you are not alone. But we can overcome these tendencies. Here’s something that works for me: During your yoga session, instead of comparing, choose to be happy for the person who can and practice compassion for yourself when you cannot. Be grateful for the simple modifications or props that make the pose better suited for your body. Marvel in the things that your body IS able to do.
Desiring to be the best you can be is a worthy goal that your yoga practice can facilitate. The key is to focus inward rather than outward. Yoga was never meant to be a form of exercise. It’s a form of self study, a way to get to the heart of who we are. The bodies we’ve been given are temporary. Yoga helps us take care of those bodies, so that we can live longer, healthier lives. But what matters most, the true goal of yoga, is identifying with the eternal part of our selves, the essence of who we are, which has nothing to do with how perfect we look in down dog.
Yoga is for every body! Make it work for you rather than trying to make your body work for yoga.